2007-08-22 09:27 range
. No range today, as it turns out. It’s been raining here for three days, so the roads are aweful; our ammo truck spun out, crossed the median, and hit six other vehicles head-on. All seven are totalled. No one was seriously hurt, somehow. Again with freak accidents.
. So I’m off today. No idea what to do, though.
out.
2007-08-21 18:47 bittersweet
. Rachel and Nate are now engaged! It’s really exciting, even with everything else going on. I really thought I’d have more to say about it than that. Nate’s a great guy, and so’s his family. They’re just awesome.
. On a different note, SGT Classen, someone I worked with for the WGS group, died yesterday. He was just walking with a few people, tripped on something, and fell down the side of this little hill. He hit his head on something on the way down and went into a coma. They eventually pulled the plug; the brain damage was too extensive.
. I didn’t know him /that/ well. We just went out and grabbed a meal or a beer a few times. Still, makes you think a lot about your own mortality. A stray (or even well-aimed) bullet or mortar round is something I’m prepared to accept. A freak accident, though.. Who knows. Everybody dies, I guess.
out.
2007-08-20 07:39 cold rain
. At my sister’s apartment in PA. Everyone’s left for work now, so it’s all quiet. Rachel surprised me last night when I got here with an early birthday party. That was completely unexpected, but (of course) definitely appreciated.
. This morning I found myself staring out the window at the rain falling on the pond. Perfectly matching how I feel right now. Anyway, just then the perfect Lifehouse song came on, making it an almost perfect movie moment. You know, when the main character gets left or someone dies, and they show him watching out the window with the perfect theme music? That bit right there.
. On a brighter note, Rachel’s boyfriend is proposing tonight. She has no idea at all. It’s /so/ great. I’m fairly confident that she won’t read this, so we should be good.
. Time for me to head out and meet with a few people (like JAG). We’ll se how that goes.
out.
2007-08-16 15:58:42
Written in response to her version.
Imagine you wake up and don’t know who she is
who she has become
who the girl that you love went
Imagine her forgetting herself and all she said she stood for
Everything you loved
Knowing how she really deserved to be treated
Imagine her never telling you how she really felt
Wanting to make her happy; not realizing she’s locked inside
Never letting you see her cry, thinking she has to be strong, alone.
Imagine begging for your life back
hoping for a yes
being stabbed in the heart with a no
Imagine never sleeping
in fear of dreams that can never be
in fear that you’ll wake up, remembering that it’s not all a bad dream
Imagine being told you’re someone you hated
wishing you could take everything back
begging to be years in the past
wishing on stars
hopes and dreams crushed
crying alone at night; hearing the noises that you’ll never hear again.
Imagine always being told everything was fine
trying to get her to talk
always being turned away
Imagine her leaving
house no longer a home
mocking with a silence so empty
the one who promised to be there
two people, now one;
together against the world.
Imagine being told that you’re nothing
that she no longer loves you
you’re not even worth the effort
of one more chance, to try.
Imagine not being able to be forgiven
for any mistake; no matter how small,
stored up inside herself
built up until bursting,
never forgetting
Imagine knowing how things could be different
how you want stuff to change
to show her what love really means
held closer than before, protected from any harm
still being told no; it’s too late.
Imagine the sadness, imagine the hurt, imagine it was someone you knew
scooters and ducks
2007-08-14 23:09
. Hanging out at my sister’s again. Just drinking tea and talking about stuff. I’m really glad there’s someone that lives nearby. Rachel, Nate, Becka, and I have been playing a variation of Uno called “Uno mean and nasty”. It’s quite fun.
. When I was driving off post earlier I saw one of the funniest things I’ve seen in quite a while. There was a tiny (~5′2″!) blonde chick riding a pink scooter with matching pink helmet and jacket. She was just tooling around, being all cool and stuff. I love people.
. Now that it’s actually the next morning (fell asleep while writing this), I’m just sitting outside watching the ducks swim about. They’re so carefree and peaceful. It so perfectly contrasts the way I feel that I felt it deserved a mention.
out.
walter reed
2007-08-14 09:46
. Had another bone scan done at Walter Reed today. I guess we’ll see how that turns out.
. According to CNN, a lot of variable-rate mortages are jumping as much as 35%. On a $200k mortgage, that’s a jump from $955 to $1,335 per month. I’m thinking there will be a lot of bank foreclosures in the next few months.
out.
2007-08-13 23:57
. Drove up to Pennsylvania today to hang out with Rachel. That was a lot of fun. We baked cookies and then played uno. It was good, even though I ended up losing.
. The drive was pretty good, too. It was a good night out; decent temp with a breeze. I did almost hit a fox, though. I don’t really understand why they run out directly in front of one of the four cars that are actually on the road. Maybe he’s just suicidal.
out.
2007-08-13 00:09
. Just got off the phone with my dad. The initial conversation was as follows: “hello?” “Oh, hey dad.” “…how are you doing? It sounds like you have a really bad cold.” “No, I’m just really drunk.” “Oh… Uhmm…”. Ha.
out.
2007-08-12 17:03
. So, the person I’ve spent the last five years with (three of them married), basically told me yesterday “I just don’t love you any more”. The issue’s compounded, of course, because it’s not mutual. I guess I don’t really have a comment for that. Or, at least, nothing printable.
. I’m just glad for friends like Tuck, Melius, Chucky, Graham, and of course Mr. Daniels and Jager.
out.
2007-08-11 00:02
. Just off the phone with her. I guess it’s good that she sounds like she’s doing okay.
. I feel so alone right now. I can’t talk to the person I should be able to always talk to. There’s no-one else to talk to, either. Why does this have to hurt -so- bad?
out.